Hypnotized cats are looking to WC
#cat #cats #animal #weird #look #looking #bored #boring #watch #watching #animals #feature #activities #emotion
Mummy´s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"
50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Google
Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death?
Employee: No, because there is no proof of it.
Boss: Well there is now !
Employee: How?
Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."