Twin cats looking
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.