Christmas cat playing with cap
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99