Crazy changing cat
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'