CAT TRYING TO OPEN THE WINDOW

Cat trying to open the window

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New jokes

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.