Cat wants to be scrapered
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."