Cat and dog massages
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.