CAT IS LOOKING

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Cat on the grass

#cat #cute #cats #animal #cute cat #kitty cat #kittens #look #looking #watch #watching #orange #thinking #animals #feature #activities #color #emotion

New jokes

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Kangaroo
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.