CAT FAST REACTION

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Cat has fast reaction

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New jokes

Unhappy day
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Hamburgers
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.