Cat in snow
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.