CATS WITH CUPS

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Cats with cups on the head

#cat #cute #cats #animal #white #sleep #sleeping #yawn #yawning #lie #lying #tired #exhausted #animals #feature #color #activities #emotion

New jokes

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

DonĀ“t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.