Men falls down from chair in club
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.