Goat slipping on slide
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."