Dog falls down from coach
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."