Man crossing the wood fence
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.