Man falls down from treadmill while running
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.