Vegetable jumping in basket
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."