Baby falls down on bed
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."