Woman dancing and falling down
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Reporter vs man
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?" Man: "Yes!" Reporter: "Name?" Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim." Reporter: "Sex?" Man: "Three to five times a week." Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?" Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel." Reporter: "Holy cow!" Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general." Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?" Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style." Reporter: "Oh dear!" Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.