Cat jumps to coach
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.