SEALS FALLING INTO WATER

415.gif

Seals falling into water

#cute #animal #jump #jumping #funny #fall down #falling #snow #winter #seal #blue #feature #animals #sports #activities #winter #color

New jokes

Helium
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.

Kids conversation
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

School
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Months
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.