SEALS FALLING INTO WATER

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Seals falling into water

#cute #animal #jump #jumping #funny #fall down #falling #snow #winter #seal #blue #feature #animals #sports #activities #winter #color

New jokes

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

Bug in soup
A boy asks his father, "Dad, are bugs good to eat?" "That's disgusting. Don't talk about things like that over dinner," the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, "Now, son, what did you want to ask me?" "Oh, nothing," the boy says. "There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone."

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Athletes
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!

Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.