Seals falling into water
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.