Tired man in bed
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.