Woman crashed into columnn
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, & just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that," the man replies, wiping his tears, "This day is the worst of my life. First, I oversleep & I go in late to my office. My outraged boss fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, & when I get out, I remember I left my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave my home, come to this bar, & just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up & drink my poison."
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.