Penguin slipped on the ice
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Lost in desert
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'