Penguin jumps to the water
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.