Penguin jumps to the water
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!