MAD WOMAN LEAVES

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Mad woman leaves the room

#angry #woman #women #mad #upset #actress #offended #emotion #people #celebrities

New jokes

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Weight loss
There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Stupid momma
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Snowman snowwoman
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.

Santas sack
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.