Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Guys on the roof
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.