SIMON COWELL IS DEPRESSED

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Simon Cowell is depressed

#funny #angry #men #man #frustrated #mad #depressed #upset #comedian #offended #feature #emotion #people #celebrities

New jokes

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Mummy┬┤s music
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!

MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"

Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.

Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left

Skeleton order
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!

Witches
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.