WEIRD MAN

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New jokes

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Christmas
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.

Tampons
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"