Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.