Mad panda throws the things from the table
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? Missletoe!
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."