Scary godzilla is screaming
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?" Patrick: "It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!" Mother: "Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?" Patrick: "What school?"
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.