Scary godzilla is screaming
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.