SANTA CLAUS IS SKATING

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Santa claus is skating

#funny #christmas #snow #santa claus #cartoon #winter #skate #red #feature #winter #things #sports #color

New jokes

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Google
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

LIGHTS OFF
I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

Claustrophobic
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

Private investigator
A guy believed that his wife is cheating on him, so he hired a private investigator. The cheapest he could find was a Chinese man. This was the Chinese PI's report about what he found: "Most honorable, sir. You leave house. I watch house. He come to house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree. I look in window. He kiss she. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall out tree. I not see. No fee. Cheng Lee."

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Cheap hotels
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.