Santa claus is skiing
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.