Shining christmas tree
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.