SANTA CLAUS WITH BAG ON THE ROOF

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Santa claus with bag on the roof near the chimney

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New jokes

Pregnant woman
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.

Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.

Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

Chinese girl
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.