Santa claus with bag on the roof near the chimney
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Don´t be racist
Don't be racist; racism is a crime; and crime is for black people.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.