Funny santa claus
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence. "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.