Angry woman with cup
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.” The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can't put it down.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!