Angry Robin Williams
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Why isn't the turkey hungry at Thanksgiving? Because he's already stuffed!
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."