Angry white cat
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Your momma is so short, when she went to meet Santa he said, "Go back to work!"
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game? A: Their bats flew away.
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.