Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Teacher and students
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99