Phoebe is screaming
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Your momma is so stupid when I told her Christmas is right around the corner she went looking for it.