Bear is working
Snowman and vampire
What do get if you cross a Snowman with a Vampire? Frostbite.
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
Ghosts as cheerleaders
Q: Why are ghosts such good cheerleaders? A: Because they have a lot of spirit!