DOG LIKE A BOSS

Dog like a boss

#animal #money #look #looking #funny #dog #happy #boss #yellow #cool #animals #things #activities #feature #emotion #people #color

New jokes

Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? A: Envelope.

Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.

Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"

Tears in eyes
My friend told me he gets tears in his eyes whenever his partner makes tender love to him. At first I thought he was an overemotional sissy, then I remembered: He's still in prison

Fat momma
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."