Dog is looking
Q: What is a mummy's favorite type of music? A: Wrap!
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin." Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night ." Kid 1: "As if." Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister." Kid 1: "I don't have a sister." Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Elves in school
Q: What do elves learn in school? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Elfabet.
Man vs priest
Man to his priest: “Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.” The priest: “Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.” Man: “And that frees me from my sin?” Priest: “No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In the stork?"