Funny white dog as judge
How is Christmas like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? A: Spare ribs!
Boss and employee
Boss: Do you believe in life after death? Employee: No, because there is no proof of it. Boss: Well there is now ! Employee: How? Boss: When you left yesterday saying that you have to go to your uncle's funeral, your uncle came here looking for you after you left
Q: Can February march? A: No, but April may.