Dog is tired
#cute #animal #sleep #sleeping #yawn #yawning #lie #lying #tired #exhausted #dog #feature #animals #activities #emotion
Christmas gift
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Adele
Q: Why did Adele cross the road?
A: To sing, "Hello from the other side!"
Envelope
Q: What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
A: Envelope.
Cats exercise
Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Trick-or-treating
A little kid was out trick-or-treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
Skeleton
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Naughty girls
Why is Santa Claus so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.