Ferret is sleeping
Ghosts as liars
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: You can see right through them.
A BLONDE & HER THERMOS
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold." The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?" She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Tiger Woods vs Santa
Q: What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? A: Santa stops after three hos.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99
Pee in the shower
Q: Who cares if you pee in the shower? A: The bride and all her guests, apparently.
A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."
Q: Is Google male or female? A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.