Ferrets are playing
Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A: To get to the body shop.
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the boy replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business." Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The boy replied, "Why, yes."
Your momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
Q: Why is Santa Claus' sack so big? A: He only comes once a year.
Q: What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common? A: No ballroom.
How were people born
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs.
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.