Playing golf
#play #playing #ball #man #player #sport #sports #golf #green #activities #sports #people #color
Harry Potter
Q: How does Albus get into Hogwarts? A: Through the Dumble-door.
MY WIFE AND I ARE REALLY IN SYNC
If my wife has too much to drink at a party, starts yapping a little too much, I don't have to say anything... three little leg squeezes, she knows that means 'Put a sock in it, drunkie, time for you to wrap it up.' Somebody didn't have dinner like I suggested, now you're spouting off at the mouth divulging all the family secrets. You need to pipe down or we've got to f**king leave.
Cath the train
A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”
The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one."
50 cent
Yo momma's so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.
Mexican sport
What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross-country.
Microwave oven
Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialed 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.
Woman in the mirror
A woman looks in the mirror and says I look fat and then asks her husband to give her a compliment he says ok you have perfect eye sight.
Value of pi
Teacher: What is the value of Pi? Student: Depending on what pie. Usually is $12.99